Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Prophet screws up!!

But the Lord found anger at Shroom and the Cannibals, and sent unto them a mighty plague.

Twas it frogs? No, frogs be for Black Hockey Jesus and the pharoah and the Egyptians. Twas it gnats? No, gnats are for Washington DC! Twas a plague of the insidious referee's whistle.

Aye, the Cannibals were plagued by penalties for near two score minutes, verily a whole half! They were with hands in the ruck; and they were entering the ruck from not straight; and they were not rolling away from the magical bouncing egg at the breakdown, thereby slowing the dog-assed Huns egg.

And the evil whistle blowers did wage a mighty attack upon the Cannibals. And the Cannibals were afraid, so that their Lord would not be an angry god at them anymore, they sacrificed a flanker to the Sin Bin. And he did languish in the bin for a full ten minutes, and he felt much shame for being a sin binner.

And the Lord lifted his anger and allowed the Cannibals to wage rugby once more on the dog-assed Huns!! Yea, and the Cannibals sent mighty warrior after mighty warrior at the dog-assed Huns and they smote them repeatedly with the driving elbow and the rock hard forearm.

Then, Doboy, one of the mightiest of the Cannibals did smite to the ground the dog-assed Huns most noble fighter, Kirk of the Man-Tates, and lo he smote him with the power step stiff arm combo, and it was good. Good enough for five points and an easy conversion.

Snipets from the prophet (before he realized he was a prophet)

I was jogging around the rugby pitch, warming up for the weekend game. When The Lord spoke unto me.

He said, "Shroom! Shroom, I want you to hit the hole between the fly-half and the inside center today, and I want you to hit it at speed."

I replied, "But Lord, we play the dog-assed Huns today and they surely watcheth the fly-inside hole."

And he replied, "Do not runneth to the hole half-heartedly, but attack the hole with all your might! Drive the hole! Pound the hole, until your foes are stacked three deep to stop thy penetration!"

And I said, "Yes, my Lord. I will surely attacketh thus the whole hole and not half-heartedly, but with all my might will I smite the Huns that stand betwixt me and the try line! Please, Lord, if it be thine will, give to me a blind side winger to offload to in the tackle, so that if I fall to the dog-assed Huns, that he may be able to touch down the magic bouncing egg and secure five glorious points in thy name!"

And the Lord gave unto me, a blindside winger to offload to. And the offloading was good.